Jesus Didn’t Fartsack

Date: 12/20
Temp: 30 Degrees
Time: Gloom 30
8 PAX showed up layered for the cold. Well (except for Bates). He likes to always sport shorts.

I had previously fartsacked this Wednesday because I thought it was too cold outside. Fartsacking is defined on the F3 Lexicon as: “Staying in bed instead of Posting”. But today, I was on Q. I had to be there for my brothers. That got me thinking. Why don’t I always have that mentality.

We have an area at our AO that reminds me of church pews. I grew up Catholic, so I decided to do a new workout based on the different movements done in church. For ex. You spend time kneeling in prayer. You spend time sitting in the pew and some standing. (More on that Later). I always picture the cross when I think about church.

I thought about what Jesus did for us on the cross. This Wednesday, I found myself doing the easy thing (staying in my warm bed) instead of getting up and working out with my F3 brothers. Do you remember those WWJD bracelets? I thought to my self later that day. What if Jesus fartsacked? He knew ahead of time that he was going to be executed that day. He knew how hard it was going to be. He didn’t say “I’ll wait another 2,000 years when the death penalty is easier to handle”. He did the “hardest” thing for the people he loved. Who am I too say “It’s too cold outside” or “I’m too tired” or “Today’s Q is too hard” or any other excuse I can think of.

We don’t do this because it is easy. We do this to better ourselves, but more important, to support one another. That PAX in the dirt next to you may need encouragement. The Q definitely needs your support. He worked hard to put that workout together. The circle of trust needs your input. When 2 or more are gathered, the Lord is present. LET’S make it MORE. Let our voices be heard. Be the HIM you were called to be. Be there for your Brothers. Remember, Jesus didn’t fartsack.

Abs of Steel

13 PAX including one FNG showed up to test their abs and core today in Helena.  Side straddle hops not included.

Q Summary:

Willie Mays, Calf stretch in mountain climber position, Quad stretch, Michael Phelps, followed by an Indian run

This was followed by a validator run and core workout – PAX run one at a time (backwards) up the validator and run back down forward.  While waiting, the rest of the PAX performed the following:

  • Reach-for-the-sky sit-ups, American hammers, Merkins, Flutter kicks, LBC’s, Mountain climbers, Elbow planks, The Al Gore, Scissor kicks (The Dolly), Standard planks, Straight leg lifts

This was followed by 50 burpees, a one lap mosey (sprint at the end), a merkin waterfall (5 merkins individually while other PAX planked, then 5 as a team), and 10 pull-ups (extra credit encouraged).  Name-O-Rama with FNG Bling named.

After name-o-rama we discussed the recent F3 podcast regarding fathers and daughters.  Everyone has heard “be a good example for your kids”, but have we thought about showing our daughters what a good man, dating, and love for our wives should look like?  How would we feel if our daughters brought home a boyfriend that was just like us in every way?  We must work every day to eliminate our own bad behaviors if we don’t want our daughters to date boys with the same bad behaviors.  It is also up to us to show them the good behaviors a leader and a man should have.  Date your wife, love your wife, let your kids see that.  Take your daughter on dates, treat them like a lady, open the door for them, pull out their chair for them at dinner.  Show them what a gentleman is.  Strive to be an awesome Dad.

The Forum – 6/7/2018 – Plank Walk

15 PAX took on some hills climbs and were introduced to the plank walk

Warm Up

SSH x 30

Willie Mays x 14

Merkins x 20

Squats x 40

Merkins x 20

1 Lap Indian Run (2 groups)

10 Burpees

Quadraphilia x 4 on hill

   Do 10 merkins after each

Bear Crawl up hill x 4

   Do 30 LBC’s after each

Crab Walk up hill x 4

   Do 15 sit ups after each 

Mosey to tennis courts 

Plank Walk across 4 courts

Plank Walk across 2 courts then sprint 2 courts

Plank Walk and sprint alternating courts with 10 merkins between alternating 

Plank Walk and burpee hop on alternating courts with 5 merkins between alternating then sprint 2 courts then ten merkins

Tennis court sprints

10 burpees

10 Merkins

Flutter kicks x 20 in cadence

American Hammer x 20 in cadence 

Plank to “An Innocent Warrior”

Sunrise Stretch

BEARy good Monday – 5/14/2018

17 PAX bear crawled all over Gloom Mountain.  Welcome FNG’s Drama and Hooch.  Beaker from Johnson City made a guest appearance as well.

Warm Up

SSH x 30

Merkins x 29

Willie Mays x 20

Merkins x 10

Ray Lewis x 20

Burpees x 15

Mosey to Simmons back lot

PAX partner up for a Dora

 (Bear Crawl Up Hill and Crawl Bear Down Hill)

  1. 100 Merkins
  2. 100 Squats

Mosey to Gloom Mountain (keep partners)

PAX runs Gloom Mountain while other exercises until first PAX returns then switch  

  1. Burpees
  2. Big Boy Sit Ups

All Bear Crawl Gloom Mountain then mosey to the turf

Plank to “You’re Welcome” – Moana

Sunrise Stretch

Gloom Mountain Is Your Friend – 4/25/2018

15 PAX posted at Gloom Mountain to find that next level of work they didn’t know was in them.

Warm Up

SSH x 30

Willie Mays x 20

Michael Phelps x 15 in cadence 

Burpees x 20

Gloom Stuff

5 Lap Indian Run (1 mile)

Mosey to Gloom Mountain

PAX partner up. 1 PAX runs GM while other does exercise 

  1. Pull ups
  2. Flutter kicks
  3. LBC’s
  4. Big Boy Sit Ups
  5. Burpees

PAX bear crawl up GM then mosey back to turf 

Angle Grinder x 10

Plank to “Hakuna Matata”

Sunrise Stretch 

No Theme

Gloom Mountain, Hoover, Febuary 21

No Theme today; just work.  10 PAX gathered in humid 68 degree February air.  An anticipated FNG (that some of you met in the parking lot after the Braveheart Race) no-showed.  However, he actually did post today, at Gwin….at 5:30 p.m.  True story.

IC Prisoner Squats
IC Ray Lewis
IC Imperial Walkers
SC Slow Merkins 1-2-3 Count
IC Hello Dolly
IC Shoulder Taps
SC The Sparrow (this became a “thing” quickly)
10 Squat Jumps OYO

Double Lap Indian Run passing a soccer ball (that’s just a warm up for something Franklin has planned for Monday)

Bear Crawl up Gloom Hollow with new twist: burpee for the 6 at the bottom
Lunge up Gloom Hollow: big boy sit ups for the 6 at the bottom

At the benches…
Alternating sets of dips and decline merkins. I heard plenty of groaning during this.

At the bottom of the school bus parking lot (down past the tennis courts)…
Altogether sprint to the top. At the top we did some stuff. Rinse and repeat 3x.

I had some more, but looked forward to getting back to circle near the flag for a little PAX CHOICE to wrap it up.

Announcements, namo-rama, Guy prayed us out.

A reminder to PAX at announcement time: FNG naming rights & responsibility belongs to that workout’s Q.  Asking for suggestions is perfectly acceptable. However, the Q calls it. This also means that if a guy gets a humdrum nickname, the Q bears full responsibility for it. So think hard and be creative.


Fife out.



How much burpee could a wood chuck burpee if a wood chuck could chuck burpee?

37 PAX including 3 FNGs (Welcome Belding, Lost & Weagle) posted for a strangely warm and somewhat soggy December morning.  Solid crowd for this time of year!

Similar to The Spartan workout last week (repping on 26 counts for the number of points Auburn scored in the Iron Bowl), we repped on 28 counts for the number of points Georgia put up against Auburn in the SEC Championship.  Bulldogs exercised in celebratory fashion while the Tigers exercised for punishment.

Workout was as follows:


SSH x28

Prisoner squat x28

Fluter kick x28

Little Baby Crunch (LBC) x28


The Thang:

14 minute burpee tabata (continuous burpees for 20 seconds, rest for 10 seconds, rinse and repeat 28 times or for 14 minutes)

One lap cooldown mosey around the park

14 minute box jump tabata – same sequence as the burpee tabata, but we mixed in dips and decline merkins on multiples of 7 (the number of points Auburn scored)



Circle up on the skate park for some core:

Flutter kicks x28

American hammers x28

Jack Webb x28 in multiples of 2


Name-o-rama, announcements & CoT

Pain and Gain – Gloom Mountain – 11/13/2017

12 PAX showed up ready for Pain and Gain at Ping’s Gym.  Music proved by Har Megiddo.

Willie Mays x 20
Merkins x 20
Little baby arm circles x 15 front and back

Ping’s Pain and Gain
Each station for 30 seconds as long as time allows.  PAX set up in a circle with bench press in the middle.

1. Bench press with 45 lb plate
2. Dumbell curls 25 lb each arm
3. SSH
4. American hammers 25 lb plate
5. Burpees
6. Overhead shoulder press 45 lb bar
7. LBC’s
8. Bent over row 45 lb plate
9. Tricep extension 10 lb plate each arm
10. Side/front shoulder lift 15lb dumbbells
11. Bear crawl around circle of PAX
12. Calf raises 35 lb plate overhead

3 minute plank

Gloom Mt. Casino II: Raw Deal



Eight men came out to get better this morning.  Welcome FNG Opus.  As YHC’s knee is still a bit tender from Saturday’s 10-mile Rabbit Ruck, the PAX did no more traveling this morning than a couple relocation shuffles.  But we made up for it stationary sweat.


IC SSH, IC Shoulder Rotations each way, IC Imperial Walkers, 25 LBCs OYO


Mosey to the Mile-of-Benches for 15 OYO dips and 15 SC decline Merkins.  Mosey back to turf.

Back at the beloved astro-turf playground (F3 Birmingham’s Augusta National) the PAX hunkered down for a DECK OF CARDS.  We took it up a notch from last time…

  • CLUBS = IC Raise the roof
  • DIAMONDS = SC Merkins
  • HEARTS = SC Iron Tribe situps
  • SPADES = Prisoner Squats
  • JOKERS = 10 Burpees (per Paperboy’s instructions)

To this card game we added a ROULETTE WHEEL.  Two duck taped bricks that YHC spotted while leaving the garage were passed around clockwise – as a pair – chaging hands for each of the 52 sets.  If you had the bricks, you hung on to them, incorporating them into your set.  This added some variety and the next time we will work in a couple more sets of bricks to the circle.  With virtually no breaks, these 520 reps (counting the IC exercise as 2 reps per count) catch up with you.


Paperboy called for some Diamond Merkins.  Sloss called out some Flutter Kicks.   The Donald called something other than Diamond Merkins to Exhaustion (he’s on probation). I think that was it.  We finished with a jog (that’s not a shuffle…but not a sprint) up Gloom Hollow and back – a.k.a. the Hollow Hustle.


Prayers for Choo Choo’s mother and Paper Boy’s girlfriend’s mother.  Announcements: Happy’s Barons game, Pickle’s solo mission trip to Rawanda, Happy Hour tonight, etc.  The Donald led us in prayer after claiming to have no prayer skills.  It turned out he was sandbagging that too.

Thanks for coming out men.  If you are reading this and have not yet experienced a workout “on the Mountain”, come and see for yourself.  It’s a great location.  Namaste Q’s Thursday at the mother ship – The Vulcan.  Scam has Saturday there.  I’m not sure about Monday and Tuesday.  I know The Donald has Wednesday at Gloom Mountain.

See YOU in the gloom,

– Fife

PS – Opus was 90th man to brave an F3 Birmingham workout.

Here is that full PAX list:

BamBam, Barney Fife, Batter, Beaver, Big Rig, Bird Dog, Blindside, Bobber, Braquo, Bronze, Catnip, Cessna, Chavez, Cheaha, Choo Choo, Cinco, Cocky, Commie, Copay, Coupon, Cowbell, Crappie, Doogie, DuBose, Edge, Fanny Pack, Felony, Gator, Grundle, Hoosier, Gold Bond, Gomer, Goose, Gov, Gump, Happy, Hawkeye, Heisenburg, HIPAA, Hi-Viz, Jiffy, Juice, Marion Barry, Merc, Mini, Namaste, Navou, Opus, Panic, Paperboy, Peanut, Pew, Pickle, Quack, Quickrete, Rabbit, Rapid, Rebar, Rebel, Romeo, Rudder, Salmon, Saluki, Saluki, Scam, Schilling, Scrum, Shakespear, Shank, Skullbucket, Slider, Sloss, Sparrow, Spud, Switzer, Terrier, The Donald, The Dude, The Ponz, Tinactin, Tommy Lee, Turnbuckle, Weber, Wham-o, Whistle, Wildfire, Wilson, Winger, Wiregrass,


Mt. Gloom July 10th

It was a great morning at Mt. Gloom as 10 men answered the call. 9 veteran pax and 1 FNG (Welcome Rudder) showed up at 5:30 at Gwin to try and get a little better. Happy was the Q and we were all still feeling a little beat up from the Vulcan run from over the weekend.


Side-straddle Hops – 20

Prisoner Squats – 20

Merkins – 20

Imperial Walkers – 20

We then mosey’d to the track and did 2 laps to get the heart beats up a bit

The Circuit

Using the track as our guide, we did 4 circuits around the track. For each circuit, we would do 20 exercises to start, 15 in the next corner of the track, 10 in the next corner, 5 in the third corner and then sprint back to the beginning. Those in front were rewarded with planking until the six made it back to the beginning. Saluki, Choo Choo and Jiffy gave a lesson on fitness with this one

Merkins – 20, 15, 10, 5

Squats – 20, 15, 10, 5

Diamond Merkins – 20, 15, 10, 5

Quick rest in between circuits 3 & 4 with a Hollow Hustle sprint up the hill and back

LBC’s – 20, 15, 10, 5

The Cool Down

Mosey’d for one more lap around the track and then back to the turf

Side-Straddle Hops – 15

Ray Lewis’s – 15

Imperial Squat Walkers – 15

Flutter Kicks – 15

Donald Diamond Merkins – The Donald crushed the rest of the Pax with 45 single count Merkins (I couldn’t do any more past 22).

Circle of Trust

We welcomed Rudder to the Pax. He did great and led the charge during some of the Circuit. I think we’ll be seeing him again.